A battle for life

Every second of every day I battle for my life. Through the wonders of my body, stem cells are being produced they grow and change it soldiers, doctors, farmers, cleaners and scientists. The cells battle the bad bugs; they fight the good fight to make it all right.

Yesterday Mlg little girl was waiting hours for an operation to insert a line into her thigh. The aim was to remove stem cells. Stem cells, so I have been told are the building blocks of our body. Deprived of food and water for hours Mlg played in the playroom, had a buggy ride a square, stroked a cat that was cold (it was a statue in the park), watched pigeons patter and chatter, swung on swings and rode the roundabout. We as parent's did all we could (my wife working on two hours sleep and few Paracetamol) tried all we could to contain our fears for the operation to come.

Finally, just after 4pm the call was made. Holding her tight in our arms and escorted by a nurse we walked in to the operating theatre. As we entered the room her body tensed up, terror took over and then she spoke, shouted, screamed those words immortal words ‘Not me, I’m better!!’ They, the words cut into our soul; we took her out of the theatre, they were not ready, I was angry. Moments later we were back in the large operating theatre with two beds complete with ticking machines and at least 5 staff dressed in light blue, it was overwhelming for us, I could not image what be like for my little girl.

The anasthetic to be given was gas! My wife was instructed to sit down on a chair, hold a blue tube in between her fingers and cover, almost smother my daughter. What is fear? I have looked death in the eye, I have smelt my own fear, I have faced the foreboding and the possibility of death on many occasions, voluntarily and seen it in other adults. But to see the fear in a child’s eyes, my child’s eyes, to know what can go wrong. I, or perhaps this time it was my wife, had signed the consent form for the operation to proceed, the experience and fear were very different. We had given over our daughter’s life to strangers. Had they instilled confidence in us, it is hard to tell, it is hard to remember.

As Mlg battled to stay awake, we saw the look her in her eyes as she pleaded, fought to stay awake. The look, the expression in her face and eyes was saying to my wife and I, I trusted you! I loved you! I wanted you! I like life!!  DON’T GO. DON’T LET THEM DO THIS TO ME!!!!! Why are you doing this to me? Why!! What could be say, nothing. Her eyes rolled back and forth, within the eternity of 30 seconds she was asleep and then placed on the operating bed. We left the theatre and went for something to eat it was the first food we had eaten since 7am. Within 35 minutes we were called back to the theatre, the operation a SUCCESS! As we walked closer to the theatre we could hear the yells and screams of our daughter, she was okay!? Well she was awake, screaming for her mother, terrifying the nurses! Oh it was good to have her back. Within minutes she had drunk some juice and was her old self.

Overnight her temperature spiked, antibiotics were given to help her fight the good fight, battle the bugs and fight for her life in a very private, hidden way. As for my lovely wife, she slept at least some of the night.

Another day dawns and I hope all goes well. Now it's time to make pancakes for my son!!!