‘How’s your daughter, how is she doing?‘

People are well meaning but I wish people wouldn't ask the question 'how is your daughter? how are you doing?', as I believe does my wife. Let’s see how do I respond? I could say 'she's fine and so am I' but that's not the truth but I don't think you really want to hear the truth either.

1. She is seriously ill.

2. She has cancer, she is going through treatment which has so many nasty and damaging side effects that we'd be here all day if i started listing them.

3.She's covered in bruises as her body loses its ability to heal itself.

4. She's vulnerable to infection, so please don't keep touching her.

5. Despite everything she is happy, eating and playing.

How would you respond? What would you say to the question ‘How is your daughter doing? ’

How am I doing? Well, smiling reassuringly while they pour poisons into her, stick needles into her, pull dressings off her delicate skin all takes its toll. I am drained, tired, fed up, annoyed, frustrated, happy, relieved, having to love but really hating every minute. Especially when we can't promise her that 'it's going to be all right, this will make you better'. So please don't ask us how we are doing. We are doing - that's all I can say.  

We are making sure that the quality of my daughter’s life is as high as possible, she is as happy as possible in order to make she is in the best psychological state she can be to fight this wretched cancer. That, if she, we lose the battle we have had the best time ever, the best memories ever, that my son gets through this without too much pain.

If people care, truly care, they will let me be. Not threaten, not intimidate, nor ask any more than is required, I am doing the best I can within these circumstances: for all around. 

Coming back to the question. How is my daughter? Well right now at 5.47 am, she is sitting on the sofa waiting for breakfast, playing with a soft toy and she just said ‘I need a poo. ’ As for my son, well he is looking at the moon, excited, full of life. As for my wife, she is tired. My daughter now is on the loo.

Oohh, she ‘s just finished her poo and is looking at the moon, got to go. Life as normal.